Being Pro-Choice Was Easy, Until I Became a Parent

Upgrading our Discussions in a Post Roe World

Thomas St Thomas

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I’ve always been pro-choice, especially when many years ago I was involved in an unplanned pregnancy. But things have changed for me since I became a parent for two specific reasons:

  • Never having been a parent, I was previously unable to understand the full impact of that choice. Never had I been face-to-face with what it was I would be losing.
  • In order to be on-board with terminating an otherwise healthy pregnancy and birth, I’d have to completely change the way human life is assessed and valued. I’d have to abandon the concept of potential that in large part differentiates human beings from the rest of the animal kingdom.

I’ve noticed how much my genuine excitement for people who are expecting children has changed. It hadn’t affected me the way it does now that I have children. Because I’ve experienced the fulfillment of that news in my own life, I know what it means. I no longer see pregnancy solely for what it is, but for what it will be. There’s an element of that in any excitement for someone’s pregnancy, as from what I am told, it isn’t the pregnancy itself that’s all that exciting for most. My evaluation of the situation is no longer restricted to only the here and now. I value its potential.

But that was not always my viewpoint.

Years ago I was in a position where I had the choice to either step aside and let a human being exist or stop it in its tracks. Back then, I had not experienced the full cycle of what it meant to have realized a cycle of life. That being who would have been a person today does not exist. It’s not something I dwell on much at all. Probably because I never had to come face-to-face with the alternative to that decision. I say that because I’ve now been face-to-face with what happens when we make the opposite decision, and step aside to let that being fulfill it’s purpose. And I wouldn’t change a thing.

If you could do it all over again, what would you change?

We’ve all played this game. I often do it while I’m in the shower and have some peace and quiet. We think about our lives and where we are. And also, where we’re…

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Thomas St Thomas

I’ve got questions. Writing helps me find the answers. Husband, dad, Afghan vet, healthcare process consultant, former fitness guru.